Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Be who you already are.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What's the point of gender reassignment surgery which doesn't change a person's chromosomes?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I was tired of fighting.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Can the existence of past lives be proven without the use of hypnosis or a pendulum to inquire about previous incarnations?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s still here.

Why are fewer English people going to their local pubs for a drink? Are they aware that many pubs are shutting down due to lack of customers?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

The sadness was still there.

It’s here now, writing to you.

How would you feel if your girlfriend had dick pics on her phone?

You are like me, then.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Have you ever accidentally seen your mother-in-law doing something that was private to her?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why am I losing interest to get a job and to all my desires because of this spiritual awakening? How do I get through life because of it?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

And the sadness?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Why do you write?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

I had run out of hope.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why do black people prefer thick, curvy women?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.